All entertainment writers have Watch Dark Desire Season 1 Onlineour lapses; Many people I've worked with have never read a Harry Potter or seen a Star War. A lot of classic movies and television just aren't priority when you know your taste preferences, which is how I went 16 years without seeing a single Fast and Furious movie.
But that is about to change, dear readers. In honor of Fate of the Furiousdropping today, it was time. My virgin eyes will finally first witness 2001's The Fast and the Furious, starting...right...now.
SEE ALSO: Critics can't agree if 'Fate of the Furious' is fantastic or a pile of garbageCome along on this journey with me.
I accidentally started Fast & Furious, the 2009 movie which was fifth in the franchise. This is an easy mistake but also not one I'm proud of, but shoutout to Michelle Rodriguez for tipping me off as I started wondering how famous she was from this franchise before she appeared on Lost.
Okay, got the right one now. Universal logo looks kinda jank.
These credits! This font! The early 2000s, what a blessed and carefree era for graphic design in general.
When she appeared as Ana Lucia Cortez in 2005, I had seen Rodriguez in zero Fast and Furiousmovies. As of five minutes ago, I had seen her in zero Fast and Furiousmovies. Who knew? (You did. All of you.)
These speeding trucks are usually my nighttime lullaby. I'm going to need more coffee for this.
Not that cruising my mom's Toyota Camry around midwestern suburbs was anything like this, but it sure seems like that now.
I doubt he's brawling to defend political correctness, but I have already retconned this plot.
I don't know anything about sports and/or cars plz do help.
He has a screen presence that must have set the bar for every Chris in Hollywood right now. It's spooky to only be watching his work for the first time.
They're just so small and weirdly proportioned and why.
Damn, homie. Dom respects respect, ya know?
There's a police scanner reporting codes, are they --
They wanted the cops occupied so they could race freely in the streets. Gotcha.
One thing I have watched before is Star Trek, and I know what this means:
More importantly, will they fall in love?
My weekend lullaby!
He appears to be aging like John Stamos and Paul Rudd, which is to say...not at all.
Is this West Side Story with cars? Do you all hate me yet?
Okay that is my lastLostreference but it's true and Ana Lucia is tough but also the worst.
Proud that I figured it out myself and rendered this explainer redundant.
I feel kind of betrayed on behalf of my new Corona-loving friend Dom.
Forbidden love!!!!
I'm sad. He was so young.
Takes me back to this evergreen burn:
Johnny Tran is torturing a man by feeding him oil. Johnny Tran is also hot in t-shirts.
This time because a colleague said he gets off to Mia's surveillance footage and then Brian's boss asked if he's "going native." Boy, bye.
He watched his father burn to death, good god. This movie is dark.
It shouldn't surprise you at this point that it got me.
NOOOOOO.
There's a lot of blood and yelling!!
This was not the type of movie I expected to come full circle, like with our hero saving the life of a guy who he got into a fight with in the beginning. But here we are!
This is Vin Diesel's major scene, when he too learns the truth about Brian. If it weren't for this dope soundtrack I would have laughed out loud (I let out a tempered chuckle).
Brian has a gun to Dom's head, maybe talk about that before your thing?
The last thing I said about him was -- not unkind, but not kind, you know? Jesse I am so sorry.
What even is the point of this, Dom? You have shit to take care of, and criminals to catch (besides yourself).
Mere seconds after the bonding moment of surpassing a speeding train together, Brian and Dom's tenuous friendship is tested once again. Dom crashes into a truck but survives with a gash to the head and a sore shoulder. They both still look great in t-shirts.
A classic Hollywood trope!
Dom is on the run, Brian could lose his job, Letty got messed up pretty bad and Vince is in critical condition. Our forbidden lovebirds did not get together, and Johnny Tran's lackey got away. Were they always setting it up for a sequel or 10? Am I going to watch the rest of the Fast and Furiousmovies...??
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