【Seinfeld Porn Parody】

Spoilers for Fantastic Beasts and Seinfeld Porn ParodyWhere to Find Them below

NEW YORK -- There was a time when you couldn't bring up Harry Potter without a hardcore fan picking up the frequency and jumping in to talk theories (me. It was me), and Fantastic Beastshas unleashed the madness once again.

Below are all our burning questions and theories after our first viewing of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

SEE ALSO: 'Fantastic Beasts': Let's talk about that Grindelwald reveal

1. Was Ariana Dumbledore an Obscurus?

Newt describes an Obscurus as a child whose magical ability is repressed. In Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Dumbledore's brother says that their little sister couldn't control her magic after an encounter with local Muggles. Their mother kept her locked away and said she was ill, but she never made it to Hogwarts. Did she go full Dark Phoenix like Credence did in the film?

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She wouldn't use magic, but she couldn't get rid of it. It turned inward and drove her mad. It exploded out of her when she couldn't control it, and at times she was strange and dangerous.

2. Did Grindelwald go to England just to find her?

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

The worst dark wizard before Voldemort was just a teenager when he met Albus Dumbledore and filled his friend's head with talk of conquering death. But what if young Gellert arrived in Dumbledore's hometown seeking not the Deathly Hallows, but the rumors pointing to an Obscurus? What if he never stopped looking?

3. What's that crazy torture poison at MACUSA?

The fact that American wizards have the death penalty is a political statement in and of itself, but what of the fact that they don't enact it with the Killing Curse? Instead of a classic Avada Kedavra, the Magical Congress of the United States of America brings the sentenced to a chamber where their memories are extracted and put into a pool that eventually swallows them whole.

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It is very un-chill.

Is this some dark offshoot of a Pensieve? Is it even death, or a prison of memories? What do American wizards think of dementors?

4. What's the relationship between Dumbledore and Newt?

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Sounds like Newt was a favorite student of Dumbledore's, but so was Harry Potter, who was being honed for heroic death. What's the connection between Dumbledore and Newt?

5. What's the Lestrange connection?

Newt's only non-zoological possession appears to be a photograph of a woman with the last name Lestrange with whom he was friends at Hogwarts. Were they in love? Probably! Did he unleash a manticore at her birthday party? Also probable! The Lestrange family is pureblood and, at least in Harry Potter's time, full of dark wizards. Did Newt know the exception?

6. Why did Newt take a ship to America?

Wizards can fly, pop in and out of thin air, bewitch fireplaces and magical objects, and this dude took a boat back when Rose from Titanic probably still hadn't bought a new coat. Maybe he wanted to explore the magical offerings of the Atlantic -- or, more likely, laying low.

Update: J.K. Rowling has at least one answer.

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

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